If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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