And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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