I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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