i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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