I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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