I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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