counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
