I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
North Korea, Best Korea!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
