physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
