we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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