dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
