Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
