3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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