Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
