I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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