That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I deserve this hangover.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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