I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
