Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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