There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
