I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
