fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
