I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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