i think my mom watched the whole time
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
