May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
