yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
