remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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