I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
