Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
