this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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