I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
