Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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