I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
