He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
