Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
