He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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