I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Vodka?
Forever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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