another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
