I'm really into asian looking animals
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
