i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
