i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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