Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
