why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
