and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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