:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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