my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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