After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
