i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
