Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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