soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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