this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
