I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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