I must be too annoying 4 u.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
