I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
