just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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