Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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