He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
